we don't say goodbye
It was the hot days of the June. We were happy and in joy with our cats. Our flat was suitable to let our cats go outdoor. There was a park area just across our house. Our cats were taking the advantages of the summer with amusement. But we saw suddenly cat-flu symptoms in some of them. At first, we didn't care it too much. But the flu was started in the other cats in the following day. We knew that the cats can be pneumonia in spite of the hot weather. We started antibiotics cure. We didn't spend two or three days in antibiotics cure yet, all cats at our home showed high fever and symptoms of cold-disease. We were in 7th day of the antibiotic treatment but there was no recovery for any of them. Especially Çito's (pronouncing in English as Chitho, comes from ‘Çitlembik’ means in English “nettle tree berry”) health situation was getting worse because she was refusing to take the pills.
Cat-flu had always been an ordinary case for also our street-cats. We sometimes saw this illness at them and we can cure them easily. But we hadn't seen such an epidemic disease in our home-cats nor in our street cats. We decided to go to the veterinarian when there was no recovery in Çito's health. Her abdominal area was becoming swollen and she was loosing weight day by day. She stopped eating. Her fever never decreased and she was breathing with great difficulty. We had known our veterinarian for a long time. S/he spent huge energy to regain for some our cats' health. We had always been appreciated for her/his endeavours. S/he examined Çito's body and listened to what we had done. S/he confirmed that we did the right thing till the visit to the clinic. S/he even said that we could continue our treatment in the same way. But s/he decided to give serum with glucose to support Çito's health and to stop her dehydration. S/he also made some supportive injection to Çito. (However we would learn later that Çito was a diabetic cat and serum with glucose had been applied without making diabetic-test. The serum with glucose increased her weakness.) The following three days after the first visit to the clinic, we brought Çito to the veterinarian regularly. She got serum with glucose for all three days long. There was no clue for recovery. Çito was getting worse. Veterinarian suggested to make FIP test. By that time, we didn't hear this illness. Test was made and the result was positive. Çito was diagnosed with FIP-illness. We were in shock when we learned the meaning of this illness. Vet asked us to bring all our cats to the clinic for FIP test. S/he said that it was a contagious infection. (When we brought our cats into the clinic, our vet didn't let the other pets come to our side. S/he was right with this attitude. But the street cats, which s/he looked after in the clinic were walking in everywhere in the clinic’s rooms. 7 of our cats were strayed and stayed for a short while in the same clinic a few month ago before FIP problem occurred. When we asked "Did you make this FIP test for your street cats?", he said "No! It is very expensive.") We brought 16 cats to the clinic and except for 4 of them, all was diagnosed with FIP. (4 cats weren't diagnosed as FIP from the test. These cats made visit to outdoor regularly and met with street cats mostly. It was interesting.)We were in chaos.
When we questioned the accuracy of the test, the vet said "Test is right % 100." He also said that our cats would unfortunately die one by one in a short while (probably by two months.) There was no medical solution for this deadly disease. The medicine was no longer extending at this way. (At this stage, we weren't informed that there were also other types of tests for diagnoses. We weren't also informed that the accuracy of this test is subject to probability. Tests were made with a handy-FIP test kit in the clinic conditions. The vet didn't say us that there were more professional tests which were making in veterinary faculties. He didn't mention also a numeric result of the test. He stated just "Your cats are FIP". Test results should have been declared with a numeric titer level. When we asked the number of titer level, he said that "The test does not produce titer numbers. When the line passes this point, then we were saying that cat is FIP." Later we learned that this handy FIP test kit can also produce numeric titer result. The vet had started to apply this test in the clinic recently. S/he was new at that area. In the diagnostic examination, the vet didn't ask X-ray or ultrasonic screening to see the liquid accumulation in abdominal area. But the veterinarians who we made contact in abroad told us these techniques should have been applied before the diagnosis. Additionally they said that the liquid where accumulated in the abdominal area should have been analysed. Because of the bio-chemical analysis of the liquid could give some clues before the diagnosis. We were persuaded to believe in that our cats are FIP.)
Those days were the most difficult days of our lives. We hardly spoke and started to weep even when our cats’ names asked. The test results were stated us with these sentences "As if we were shot from our head. Oh my God! This cat is also FIP!" We are not angry that the clinic staff could not consider the pet fancier's psychology at that point. All of them were upset as much as we were. They shared our grief. They behaved with love and kindness to us. Only the professor who dropped in clinic occasionally preferred to be in different when we spoke the illness before his table for a long time. We had supported the clinic with a very special way for years. The behaviour of the professor could not be a model of behaviour between pet-fancier and veterinarian professionals.)
The night when we learned that our cats were FIP couldn't be ended. We even thought to ask euthanasia to stop their suffering any more pains. We would later understand that it was not a reasonable reaction at that point. We have to appreciate our vet's response to this emotional ask. S/he relaxed us and advised to bring euthanasia to a later stage.
The purpose of all this writings does not aim to accuse of veterinary process. Every one who can read this page should believe in this. Unfortunately we experienced sometimes very awkward situations during these days in the clinic. The intention was not bad. We trust on their good will. But the veterinarians have to gain more knowledge and experience on FIP as much as pet-fanciers have to. The reason why there is very limited knowledge on FIP is due to the rare occurrence of the disease and being incapable for reading academic sources in English language. Incapacity to understand foreign language is an important barrier before the expansion of the information network on FIP. This problem does not belong to only this area, it is a nationwide problem. But we have to talk about this problem. We have to talk about for taking progress in our shortcomings, not to talk for accusing to each of us.
We started desperately to look for any remedies to rescue our cats from this deadly disease. Our vet gave us interpherone which is mainly used for cancer or aids cases. He said us it may help to support Çito's immune system.
What could you do in such a position? What could you do when you would see your cats, with whom you spent days and nights, shared the same pillows, and all were in pains. And you would be said that they would die in a couple of months... We turned our way to the alternative medicine and holistic veterinary, because we were believed in that this story would be ended with "death". We took recommendations from the holistic vets. They advised to stop giving antibiotics to cats. We applied their recommendations. We started to give very intensive herbal cocktails not only to Çito, to all our cats. The ingredients were consisting of flax seed oil, fish-oil, Echinacea, chlorella, brewer yeast, bee pollen, gin-seng. Moreover we applied very intensive C-vitamin treatment. We gave these herbal cocktails orally in a liquid form by an injection whose needle was extracted. (Our vet was in contact with us during this herbal remedy process. We were explaining what we were doing. Because s/he was from conventional veterinary school, s/he did not off course approved this kind of treatment but s/he didn't disapproved. Our vet showed a very big respect to our herbal remedy and s/he understood our desperate position. S/he even dared to suggest our herbal remedy to one of his/her client whose cats were diagnosed as FIP also. But this client could not take a successful result.) All the rooms and walls at home looked like a war arena because cats were spreading the herbal liquid. But it was not important. The important one was their recovery. We behaved very kind, relaxing and with passion to all of our cats during this period in spite of our woes. We played relaxing music (New Age) for 24 hours and 7 days. We let them visit the park when they wanted, except Çito. We tried to reduce the stress level. We didn't want to put any hindrances before their freedom if they would die soon. However most of cats who were in similar situation are not allowed to go out and are kept in a room at home or in a care-cage at a clinic. We refused to apply this way.
We changed also their nutrition style. We gave dry-ready to use cat food and fresh food simultaneously. (They rejected to eat fresh meals, meats at the beginning.) In the mornings, we mixed a spoon of apple vinegar to their water. The holistic vets suggested us the apple vinegar reduced the level of dehydration.
We even phoned, mailed all famous pet-hospital abroad to learn any sustainable remedy. We owe thanks to all of vets that we spoke. Without knowing us, they shared our grief and explained in detailed what we should do. We had heard always the same medicine from holistic vets, it was Nosodes. They were saying "You should use Nosodes". What was the Nosodes? We didn't find any one in Turkey who knows what the Nosodes is? We called veterinarian faculties. We met a name in a foreign web-site when we searched an academic essay on homeopathy. S/he was a professor at a university. We made a contact with him/her. S/he just heard it but s/he didn't know how it was prepared. We found another professor but her/his reaction was the same like the other professor. We just learned that the Nosodes is natural medicine made by ill-pet's tissues, bloods, feces.
At this stage we were desperately seeking a consultation help from academic professionals. We were expecting to fight together against FIP. Even if we lost our cats due to FIP, there might be a durable solution for other FIP cats during this searching. People who watched the film of "Lorenzo's Oil" can understand us very well. These can happen. When the pet-fanciers and professionals in medicine give a hand to each other, miracles can be seen in the line of horizon. In spite of all our efforts, we weren't able to receive any consultation aids. We heard every time the same sentence "No cure!" At least, we expected their help for making Nosodes, they could produce in laboratory area with the directions of the holistic vets in abroad. But there were no positive answers for it also. However the holistic vet in an ordinary town could describe how the Nosodes could be done. But we had not enough brave to do it. At last we found a webpage where the Nosodes were in sale. We ordered the Nosodes from a holistic shop from Australia. Unfortunately the holistic medicine could not catch up Çito. (With a pitiful face, we met by a chance a webpage in the internet, where Nosodes preparation was described at the date when Çito passed away. We don't still know whether the Nosodes would be a solution for Çito, but we had been slogging for a chance.)
Because Çito refused to eat on herself, we were giving food in a cream style, which prepared by mixer, with an injection whose needle was extracted. Unfortunately the beloved Çito's lips become swollen due to syringe's force even we behaved very gently. Sometimes they were bleeding. Besides the leaking from her nose were getting dry her nose and surroundings of lips. Then it caused bleeding. We applied Bepanthene skin cream to the wounded areas.
We also brought her to our balcony to get fresh air. Off course we observed her in the balcony. She rarely walked. Generally she were in bed, she got up just for toilet. She walked shakily. When we tried to help she did want to do on herself. (Believe or not believe, she attempted to walk last time to see her daughter, Paşa before she passed away.) Just for two days, her health situation was getting better. She ate the food with our help but with a kind of appetite. Our other cats' health was getting slightly better. But we could not be sure. The progress was so slow. Unfortunately, we lost Çito in the morning of 15th June 2005 . (Unfortunately, the accumulated liquid in the abdominal area of Çito was not suggested to be injected. We learned this method could be applied afte Çito passed away. The accumulated liquid presses the lungs and the lungs can not realise its normal routines. The injection can not stop accumulation but the cat gets relief for a while.)
We were incredibly sorry at that date. We could not decide on post-mortem due to our deep grief. It was mistake, we should have asked for it to clear the verdict on our cats’ health. The woe and breakdown mood totally paralyzed us. We started to believe that we would lose the war against FIP. We had slept only two hours a day for two weeks. We had 20 cats and we unfortunately lost one of them.
We should share with you also an interesting observation that we made at that stage. Our house cats always went outdoor before also FIP incident occurs. They were always in touch with street cats (we called them as “fancies of the window”). The street cats could enter into our house and spent time with our house cats. But we didn’t the same symptoms in our street cats when our house cats were diagnosed as FIP. Surely, the immune system of street cats can be stronger than house cats. But only difference between our house cats and our street cats is that house cats sleep at home, street cats sleep in the balcony. They eat the same food. If our house cats were FIP, the FIP case should have been diagnosed also in our street cats. But this is just an observation.
We lost Çito. Who would be the next? This question was hammering our brains. We gave a break to our non-stop treatments for couple of hours on that date when Çito passed away. Every ones at home were trying to do something to forget a little bit what we experienced. Although we were very good at searching and communicating in internet, but we just made a contact with holistic veterinarian from the first day of this disease occurred at home. We could not spend any more time in internet for conducting the heavy treatment programme. We were getting additional information on herbal remedies. After Çito passed away and buried her into our garden, we accessed into internet with the slipping tears. We just wanted to surf in pages to forget all bad memories. But we were clicking the same subject, it was FIP. We met an e-group in Yahoogroups about FIP ( http://groups.yahoo.com/group/FIP/ ). We become angry at ourselves that why we hadn't noticed it before. It was amazing e-group on FIP. We joined in right away. We appreciate all the member of this group. God bless them. They responded our help-asking mails without waiting. We were receiving mails throughout world. We don't approve the animal trade. But a gentleman who had a cat-breeding farmer wrote us and suggested to apply Lysine to our cats. God bless him also. We didn't know what Lysine was. But we learned quickly that Lysine is a kind of amino-acid which could only preventive substance for the defects of the Herpes Virus. Some of vet friends said us that Herpers Virus could create some similar symptoms. It could be found easily in herbal medicine shops, like GNC or Solgar. The taste of Lysine is similar to meat. Therefore we poured in a powder form to cats' water bowls and mixed in their meals. We also gave it to them orally by mixing with mayonnaise.
We started to see some recovery in our cats after one week than Çito passed away. Our cats overcame higher fever and flu and were back to old days. It has been nearly one year since suffering those upsetting days. We haven't stopped this supportive treatment. We just reduced the intensity. We took some precautions to remove the stress factors at home. (Especially the hover’s crazy noise was causing fears in cats.) We let cats go to park much more. Unfortunately their nutrition style turned totally dry ready-to-use food. We could not persuade them to continue semi-dry and semi-fresh feeding. Thank to God, we haven't seen any major health problem since those days. In our tradition, to avoid from the bad luck, we knock on a wooden platform. It is a superstitious but please does it for us! Our cats except Çito are with us today, In fact she is also with us. We feel her soul. There are no big problems on cats. But we have not been sure about our cats carry FIP disease or not. They are not FIP or they are. The fear will be hanging over us like Damocles’ Sword. But the fear of losing them caused to grow their love in our hearts. We even took lessons from those bad days. We are believer people although we aren't religious. We thank to Allah for this chance. We don't know what the future brings us. The sun rose again. We don't know the sun will set or not. We live today. We care every minute which we spend with our cats.
Although we couldn't obtain the needed help from professionals, we don't accuse of them. The solution of this problem remains in the frame of the same triangle; pet, pet-fancier and vet. We don't target to give harm to this triangle with this written experience. But we must write. This is our problem and we must solve together.
If you read this real story as a pet-fancier who seeks a remedy for his/her cat, we wish an urgent healing for your cat/s. But please don't lose your hope. We don't know that you reach a happy end or not but many people on earth have no idea what a precious bounds there are between pets and their fanciers. You are the lucky one. If you lose him/her, the winner will be you and him/her in spite of all woes. You won a gift from the life. It will always be with you. Some day we will meet at somewhere with all of our losts. We know Çito has been waiting us in somewhere like our beloved cats, Cathy, Sarı Kız, Fındık, Tarkan have been waiting. But we have to give enough attention to the value of life. The surprise of life hidden in this value. We love you. Remain healthy and happy with your human lovers and pet lovers.
As we were trying to cure Çito and our other cats, we were giving a 10-minutes break in the kitchen. We hardly sit on a chair with a tired body. We always met with the same song playing with a lower voice from a radio in kitchen. We noticed the song more apparently after Çito passed away. We found the lyrics of the song. Then we understood that it was the message from Çito to us. The song was the magnificent song of Bee Gees, 'Immortality'. Was it chance or accident? Çito had started to give this message before she passed away. In the most deepest place in our hearts, we will keep this message : "We don't say goodbye.”
I M M O R T A L I T Y
(From Bee Gees)
So this is who I am
And this is all I know
And I must choose to live
For all that I can give
The spark that makes the power grow
But I will stand for one dream if I can
Symbol of my faith in who I am
But you are my only
And I must follow on the road that lies ahead
I won't let my heart control my head
But you are my only
And we don't say goodbye
We don't say goodbye
And I know what I've got to be...
Immortality
I make my journey through eternity
I keep the memory of you and me
Inside
Fulfill your destiny
It's there within the child
My storm will never end
My fate is on the wind
The King of Hearts
The Joker's wild
We don't say goodbye
We don't say goodbye
I'll make them all remember me
Cause I have found the dream that must come true
Every ounce of me must see it through
But you are my only
I'm sorry I don't have the role for love to play
Hand over my heart I'll find my way
I will make them give to me...
Immortality
There is a vision and a fire in me
I keep the memory of you and me
Inside
And we don't say goodbye
We don't say goodbye
In all my love for you
And what else we may do
We don't say goodbye...
Life is more beautiful with cats!
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